AND YES I AM COUNTING! ;p
Hubby and I had yet another "discussion" about money. He was a tad concerned over our diminishing savings account. I had shared this fact with him 3 weeks ago- hmm, do you think he didn't listen to me? Shocking, I know!
Here is why his concern pissed me off- we just shelled out almost 2 grand on a new battery and repairs on his hybrid- I hate that car- it sucks for repair costs and fuel efficiency is not enough to take away from the cost of repairs...it is like his mistress, he has an unusual attachment to this car...it is ugly, it is small, and the roof actually ripples if you take it through a car wash. It is not a family car. It has never held a car seat- because if it did there would be little room for anything else. Yes, I hate that car almost as much as I hate residency- so much for me not being a "hater." BUT my wrath is not directed at an individual but rather an object and a situation so I should get a free pass on this one...
He also keeps throwing out there that the average income in this area is about 2/3 of what he makes- I then tell him that his daughter and I are not average and this fact has no relevance to us. It also made me mad since I had just told him about my needing to turn down my dream job- um, a little sensitivity would be nice...he brought me home flowers to assuage his guilt a bit...they were nice...I opted not to smother him with a pillow while he slept that night...again, he is lucky I love him...
Yesterday, I got a phone call- the closest thing I could ever get to an apology- he is male and all. He said not to worry about our money situation and that he only has 2 years left so if we need to get a loan to help out then so be it. It is good he is facing reality...his salary is not exactly generous and we have expenses that come up like car repairs and medical bills- my co-pays are huge not to mention stuff for our daughter- luxuries like diapers... ;p BUT part of me is suspicious because I am thinking that he has been spending a lot of time looking at new hybrids...I am hoping that with the new battery that his current car will last at least another year....
We just went to the graduating resident's party- it gives me hope...there is an end to this thing called residency...
Monday, June 25, 2012
Dream Job not happening....
I was recently offered a dream job. It was through an old contact I have from back when I worked in reality TV in LA. It was a very good offer. I was thrilled....it was flattering- granted it might get cancelled but it would've been fun while it lasted...and it paid over double what hubby makes...but there is, of course, a huge problem with said job offer....
The problem being we live on the other side of the country. I also have a 2 year old who needs me. I am married to a resident who still has 2 years of his sentence er, I mean, training left. Then we have 4 years of military payback afterward. That is 11 years of being the woman behind the man. I did not drink the kool aid- I am not always going to graceful about this...I am not always going to buy into the "scoring a doctor" line. I make sacrifices, too, this is part of life as a resident's wife. It doesn't mean I have to love this particular part of putting my own career dreams on hold possibly forever. Hence, why I WILL hold him to his promise of a luxury SUV when residency is done.
He is lucky I love him. A lesser woman would be bitterly rampaging around the house right now. I considered it- but we are on a resident's salary and can't afford to replace anything....sigh..
The problem being we live on the other side of the country. I also have a 2 year old who needs me. I am married to a resident who still has 2 years of his sentence er, I mean, training left. Then we have 4 years of military payback afterward. That is 11 years of being the woman behind the man. I did not drink the kool aid- I am not always going to graceful about this...I am not always going to buy into the "scoring a doctor" line. I make sacrifices, too, this is part of life as a resident's wife. It doesn't mean I have to love this particular part of putting my own career dreams on hold possibly forever. Hence, why I WILL hold him to his promise of a luxury SUV when residency is done.
He is lucky I love him. A lesser woman would be bitterly rampaging around the house right now. I considered it- but we are on a resident's salary and can't afford to replace anything....sigh..
Friday, June 22, 2012
Happy Anniversary
I am thrilled! It was just our 4th anniversary and get this? Hubby though on home call was actually home! WOW! I have gotten used to birthdays, and most holidays being hit or miss as to whether we see each other. We do get Christmas which is huge- well, except for this year, which, I will whine about later... BUT this is our first anniversary where we spent it together...
Hubby came home at a decent time with take out from a favourite area restaurant- no sense in eating out and getting a sitter when there is the possibility of him being called out on an emergency. So we opted for dinner at home and playing with our kiddo. He got me an art workshop to do next month and then surprised me with a really cool vase- very art deco. I like surprises- wait, I like surprises that are gifts- I am too much of a control freak to like surprises otherwise...I am already hating the fact that in 2 years when residency is done (yes, that part is good) but I am hating having to be posted and not knowing ahead of time (as in NOW) where we will be until right before hand- um, I like to have time to PLAN- for Emma's school, for where we'll live, area attractions, area shopping...but I digress, my point is that this was a good surprise..it made me happy... :D
So, we watched an array of kiddie shows with Emma, played pretend food/tea party, and CRASHED...He has been working a LOT this week- it has been a hard week I am told- um, duh! Anyhow, I am tired, too. I am used to him coming home and taking over and me having time to myself to take a bubble bath and go to sleep early while he puts kiddo to bed. I have lupus, this works well for me...sigh...I am tired...and Emma is cranky- actually, so am I...we both prefer our normal schedule....I suspect hubby does, too.
BUT I am going to try to focus on the positive here! We spent our anniversary together! That is pretty great!
Hubby came home at a decent time with take out from a favourite area restaurant- no sense in eating out and getting a sitter when there is the possibility of him being called out on an emergency. So we opted for dinner at home and playing with our kiddo. He got me an art workshop to do next month and then surprised me with a really cool vase- very art deco. I like surprises- wait, I like surprises that are gifts- I am too much of a control freak to like surprises otherwise...I am already hating the fact that in 2 years when residency is done (yes, that part is good) but I am hating having to be posted and not knowing ahead of time (as in NOW) where we will be until right before hand- um, I like to have time to PLAN- for Emma's school, for where we'll live, area attractions, area shopping...but I digress, my point is that this was a good surprise..it made me happy... :D
So, we watched an array of kiddie shows with Emma, played pretend food/tea party, and CRASHED...He has been working a LOT this week- it has been a hard week I am told- um, duh! Anyhow, I am tired, too. I am used to him coming home and taking over and me having time to myself to take a bubble bath and go to sleep early while he puts kiddo to bed. I have lupus, this works well for me...sigh...I am tired...and Emma is cranky- actually, so am I...we both prefer our normal schedule....I suspect hubby does, too.
BUT I am going to try to focus on the positive here! We spent our anniversary together! That is pretty great!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
the untrophy wife
There is a big myth that all doctors and especially surgeons look for trophy wives. I hear this term on a regular basis when I hear a snide comment made about me at his work by someone who really needs to get a life. It is always under her breath but come on- really not necessary...
Last night I told hubby that he got ripped off in his attempt for a trophy wife- we had a good laugh over it. You see when we first met I told him that I had lupus- a mild form of the worst type- systemic, and waited for him to run and not look back. Most guys did....His response was surprising he said only a-holes would see that as an issue and he was not...side note I agree with his assessment 99% of the time but he is male so, um...he has his moments- I, on the other hand, am perfect. ;p
We had discussed adoption from the beginning- I was sort of thinking we could risk a pregnancy until in his intern year hubby called me very upset...he had just dealt with not one bur two women who had lupus with no complications until they gave birth- then renal failure and sadly, they both died...He noted this doesn't always happen but it can and he was not going to lose his wife and be a single father. So, I checked with my specialist who noted this was a risk and advised against pregnancy for me. I got a second opinion as I wanted to be sure and was told the same things given my medical history. We both knew we wanted children so we adopted in our second year of marriage. I get to be a mommy and honestly, I don't think it is possible to love my daughter more- she grew in my heart and that love grows daily. To call her a daddy's girl is a huge understatement- he is a dedicated father and changes a mean diaper. Nothing is sexier than a man who carries a baby in one arm and uses the other to vacuum.:)
I also pointed out last night to hubby that trophy wives get more bling and he pulled the residency card again. Humph, I hate when he throws logic at me. I gave him a pass but told him 10 years is diamonds and he is forewarned. ;p
Finally, I would imagine trophy wives (don't know any so have to rely on imagination) are likely more domestic than me. I despise house work. I don't like cooking either. Not saying being a domestic goddess makes one a trophy wife but they likely come closer to expectations than me. :) We budget for a cleaning service- in my defense scrubbing floors is physically painful. Dave often cooks and puts stuff away for us. He says cooking and cleaning relaxes him- who am I to deny him the simple pleasures? I am very giving so I like to see my man happy. Win win and all. :)
Those who think I am a trophy wife would likely be very disappointed by the reality of our life but we are not! :D
Last night I told hubby that he got ripped off in his attempt for a trophy wife- we had a good laugh over it. You see when we first met I told him that I had lupus- a mild form of the worst type- systemic, and waited for him to run and not look back. Most guys did....His response was surprising he said only a-holes would see that as an issue and he was not...side note I agree with his assessment 99% of the time but he is male so, um...he has his moments- I, on the other hand, am perfect. ;p
We had discussed adoption from the beginning- I was sort of thinking we could risk a pregnancy until in his intern year hubby called me very upset...he had just dealt with not one bur two women who had lupus with no complications until they gave birth- then renal failure and sadly, they both died...He noted this doesn't always happen but it can and he was not going to lose his wife and be a single father. So, I checked with my specialist who noted this was a risk and advised against pregnancy for me. I got a second opinion as I wanted to be sure and was told the same things given my medical history. We both knew we wanted children so we adopted in our second year of marriage. I get to be a mommy and honestly, I don't think it is possible to love my daughter more- she grew in my heart and that love grows daily. To call her a daddy's girl is a huge understatement- he is a dedicated father and changes a mean diaper. Nothing is sexier than a man who carries a baby in one arm and uses the other to vacuum.:)
I also pointed out last night to hubby that trophy wives get more bling and he pulled the residency card again. Humph, I hate when he throws logic at me. I gave him a pass but told him 10 years is diamonds and he is forewarned. ;p
Finally, I would imagine trophy wives (don't know any so have to rely on imagination) are likely more domestic than me. I despise house work. I don't like cooking either. Not saying being a domestic goddess makes one a trophy wife but they likely come closer to expectations than me. :) We budget for a cleaning service- in my defense scrubbing floors is physically painful. Dave often cooks and puts stuff away for us. He says cooking and cleaning relaxes him- who am I to deny him the simple pleasures? I am very giving so I like to see my man happy. Win win and all. :)
Those who think I am a trophy wife would likely be very disappointed by the reality of our life but we are not! :D
yeah, he knows but...
In answer to a few people asking, yes, hubby knows I am writing this blog- he finds it amusing and prefers I vent in my blog than kick his butt- yes, he has a healthy fear of all 94 lbs of me. Will he ever read it? Not likely! He rarely reads unless he has to for work stuff...he prefers to wait for the movie...whereas, I read the book and then watch the movie... He is one of those annoying people who reads something once and commits it to memory...Did I mention yet that he also was a high school football player and runs marathons? Well-rounded annoying show off! ;p
His one request was that I never use full names as he is a surgeon and will face enough lawsuits without some slander or libel from my blog being thrown into the mix. Fair enough...
He said last night that this week is unusual for chief residency- I hope so- Emma is less than impressed that she sees him for a few minutes before bed- I let her stay up until he comes home at around 10:30 and then she crashes in his arms. Sweet but not exactly quality time. I preferred the overnights because as much as they sucked at least I knew when they would happen and could plan accordingly with Emma. Last night he didn't have to go back in but that was a first this week...sigh...
I guess I will need to wait and see what the rest of this year brings....
BUT I am beginning to see why he is trying to get me to focus on the good things that will come once he is done- and I will hold him to the promised Beverly Hills shopping spree...the one where we stay in the Wiltshire hotel and I shop til I drop- and don't let the fact I have lupus fool you- I can find an amazing amount of energy to shop...I can also pace myself- shopping can be seen as a marathon- slow and steady wins and all! :D
His one request was that I never use full names as he is a surgeon and will face enough lawsuits without some slander or libel from my blog being thrown into the mix. Fair enough...
He said last night that this week is unusual for chief residency- I hope so- Emma is less than impressed that she sees him for a few minutes before bed- I let her stay up until he comes home at around 10:30 and then she crashes in his arms. Sweet but not exactly quality time. I preferred the overnights because as much as they sucked at least I knew when they would happen and could plan accordingly with Emma. Last night he didn't have to go back in but that was a first this week...sigh...
I guess I will need to wait and see what the rest of this year brings....
BUT I am beginning to see why he is trying to get me to focus on the good things that will come once he is done- and I will hold him to the promised Beverly Hills shopping spree...the one where we stay in the Wiltshire hotel and I shop til I drop- and don't let the fact I have lupus fool you- I can find an amazing amount of energy to shop...I can also pace myself- shopping can be seen as a marathon- slow and steady wins and all! :D
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Blogging is cheaper than therapy....
We are in our sixth year of residency....I say "we" because I mean WE- quite frankly I think I should get a bloody medal after this seven year service is done. I thought that in the senior years life would be easier- no more 6- 8 nights a month of overnights but instead, we get home call...yeah, I was naive enough to think that was better...What I didn't count on was the fact that home call is hit or miss and when it is hit it is BAD!!! Doc hubby was basically operating for 3 days straight since now after work when he gets called he goes back in...I get that this is the training period and that "one day" this will pay off- but one day seems a long time from now- especially when you count in the 4 years of military pay back we have to do afterwards for medical school being footed by Uncle Sam...sigh...
So I started a second blog about life as a resident's wife which will be followed up by life as an army surgeon's wife....;p Why? Because we are NOT rich! Residents make peanuts! We cannot afford the therapy that would be needed to vent this crap so I will blog...
A little background on us....hubby is a real life Dr. McDreamy but not judgmental or annoying like the one on TV. He is in year 6 of residency and has PhD's on top of it. He started college at 16...I am a stay at home mommy to our beautiful daughter who is 2 before I worked in TV and taught elementary. We met while he was in med school and I was teaching in Florida- side note- I REALLY miss South Florida...We now live in a small community that I am not thrilled with- actually, neither is he... again, 7 years of it and I deserve a medal or at least a Cayenne.
Hubby isn't typical of the guys he works with- he comes home and helps with the kiddo AND cooks and cleans. AND he wants to buy me the expensive car when our ship finally comes in, not him- he wants a boring hybrid sedan...Yeah, I know I am lucky but anyone who loves a resident also knows that NOTHING about this life is easy...The hours SUCK! The pay SUCKS! Being stuck in a less than desirable locale- SUCKS! In short this blog will be about why residency SUCKS big time....Yes, it may come across as being spoiled or pampered but I never said I wasn't either of these things... ;p
This will be a humourous look into our lives and it will be a tad more honest than what you see on Grey's Anatomy AND I promise NEVER to burst into song- trust me you will be grateful!
So I started a second blog about life as a resident's wife which will be followed up by life as an army surgeon's wife....;p Why? Because we are NOT rich! Residents make peanuts! We cannot afford the therapy that would be needed to vent this crap so I will blog...
A little background on us....hubby is a real life Dr. McDreamy but not judgmental or annoying like the one on TV. He is in year 6 of residency and has PhD's on top of it. He started college at 16...I am a stay at home mommy to our beautiful daughter who is 2 before I worked in TV and taught elementary. We met while he was in med school and I was teaching in Florida- side note- I REALLY miss South Florida...We now live in a small community that I am not thrilled with- actually, neither is he... again, 7 years of it and I deserve a medal or at least a Cayenne.
Hubby isn't typical of the guys he works with- he comes home and helps with the kiddo AND cooks and cleans. AND he wants to buy me the expensive car when our ship finally comes in, not him- he wants a boring hybrid sedan...Yeah, I know I am lucky but anyone who loves a resident also knows that NOTHING about this life is easy...The hours SUCK! The pay SUCKS! Being stuck in a less than desirable locale- SUCKS! In short this blog will be about why residency SUCKS big time....Yes, it may come across as being spoiled or pampered but I never said I wasn't either of these things... ;p
This will be a humourous look into our lives and it will be a tad more honest than what you see on Grey's Anatomy AND I promise NEVER to burst into song- trust me you will be grateful!
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