a surgeon"...cafepress.com has tons of gifts for dads- I took the phrase and had a shirt made up with his specialty... a cute Father's Day gift from his baby girl...and he loved it!
It is actually quite true- as often as I gripe about his hours and not being home as much as I'd like, it wouldn't be fair not to mention and give kudos to the fact that he works, works out to decompress, and comes home. I suggest going out with the guys and he says he'd rather come home and spend time with us. He would come home post call- that is when a resident spends the day and that night and then the following morning and possibly afternoon at the hospital working...it is a very long shift and sometimes they catch some sleep and sometimes they don't BUT every time he came home he stayed awake as long as he could to play with kiddo and give me some down time. And whenever possible, he stayed awake to put her to bed- to spend time with her and prevent his sleep cycle from getting too messed up. I think the latter was just a bonus as he really just wanted to spend time with his daughter...Granted, he has an incredible amount of energy...he says most residents cannot do this- he may have just been bragging though.... ;p
On weekends he has off, we go to the zoo or the park and he plays with baby girl- anything from a kiddie game on the i-pad, to angry birds OR tea party...Yes, even daddy enjoys a cup of her delicious tea although, she has yet to get him to wear one of her princess crowns... ;p
Sometimes it isn't about quantity of time, it is about quality time, and making sure that free time is spent with someone who truly sees you as a hero....so yes, I think hubby is a super dad....I knew he would be one when I was teaching and he came to the year end production and helped with my class- he allowed himself to be a human jungle gym and sensitively handled two little boys who were rather hostile about this interloper marrying me...yes, they both had planned on the fact that they would marry me when they grew up and we'd all live together..hubby usurped said plans...I figure they got over it since the last day I was informed that I am OLD! Residency makes me feel that way- old...It is getting really old, too...sigh
Monday, July 16, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Home call....
Is NOT all it's cracked up to be....it is divided between 2 people which means 15 days of home call for each...It is hit or miss...sometimes no calls for several days but often hubby gets home after staying late only to be called back in to operate...it is very hard on our daughter.... :(
It also means that even if he is there the better part of the night that he is expected to be there all the next day, too. On-call means you work overnight and go home the next day and can get some rest....Home call not so much....As a wife and mommy, I preferred on call as I knew when he wouldn't be home and could get in the mind set of being single mom for the night...Home call means, I don't know! I HATE not knowing!
This year is feeling a LOT like PGY2- lots of work, seeing little of hubby and still living on a shoe string budget...The only up side is that he is doing research which for him is a fellowship and he seems to be really enjoying it- he's tired but I think all residents are- sort of the nature of the beast and all...Oh, and in year 2 we still had over half a decade to put in...sounds like a sentence? Well, it kind of is....but our sentence is now under 2 years...HOORAY!!!!
Plus, those loans he said he might be willing to take out could happen...I am needing to buy small toys for the kiddo to present her with every time he comes home and leaves...Her heart breaks every time and it is not fair to her so yes, I bribe her....
She is not impressed with him working so much but has come up with a great solution. She can go to work and help him....She is really good with her little toy drill and screw set- she might be quite helpful in the operating room- she just needs a step stool....sigh...less than 2 years still feels like a LONG time....
It also means that even if he is there the better part of the night that he is expected to be there all the next day, too. On-call means you work overnight and go home the next day and can get some rest....Home call not so much....As a wife and mommy, I preferred on call as I knew when he wouldn't be home and could get in the mind set of being single mom for the night...Home call means, I don't know! I HATE not knowing!
This year is feeling a LOT like PGY2- lots of work, seeing little of hubby and still living on a shoe string budget...The only up side is that he is doing research which for him is a fellowship and he seems to be really enjoying it- he's tired but I think all residents are- sort of the nature of the beast and all...Oh, and in year 2 we still had over half a decade to put in...sounds like a sentence? Well, it kind of is....but our sentence is now under 2 years...HOORAY!!!!
Plus, those loans he said he might be willing to take out could happen...I am needing to buy small toys for the kiddo to present her with every time he comes home and leaves...Her heart breaks every time and it is not fair to her so yes, I bribe her....
She is not impressed with him working so much but has come up with a great solution. She can go to work and help him....She is really good with her little toy drill and screw set- she might be quite helpful in the operating room- she just needs a step stool....sigh...less than 2 years still feels like a LONG time....
Monday, June 25, 2012
730 days left...
AND YES I AM COUNTING! ;p
Hubby and I had yet another "discussion" about money. He was a tad concerned over our diminishing savings account. I had shared this fact with him 3 weeks ago- hmm, do you think he didn't listen to me? Shocking, I know!
Here is why his concern pissed me off- we just shelled out almost 2 grand on a new battery and repairs on his hybrid- I hate that car- it sucks for repair costs and fuel efficiency is not enough to take away from the cost of repairs...it is like his mistress, he has an unusual attachment to this car...it is ugly, it is small, and the roof actually ripples if you take it through a car wash. It is not a family car. It has never held a car seat- because if it did there would be little room for anything else. Yes, I hate that car almost as much as I hate residency- so much for me not being a "hater." BUT my wrath is not directed at an individual but rather an object and a situation so I should get a free pass on this one...
He also keeps throwing out there that the average income in this area is about 2/3 of what he makes- I then tell him that his daughter and I are not average and this fact has no relevance to us. It also made me mad since I had just told him about my needing to turn down my dream job- um, a little sensitivity would be nice...he brought me home flowers to assuage his guilt a bit...they were nice...I opted not to smother him with a pillow while he slept that night...again, he is lucky I love him...
Yesterday, I got a phone call- the closest thing I could ever get to an apology- he is male and all. He said not to worry about our money situation and that he only has 2 years left so if we need to get a loan to help out then so be it. It is good he is facing reality...his salary is not exactly generous and we have expenses that come up like car repairs and medical bills- my co-pays are huge not to mention stuff for our daughter- luxuries like diapers... ;p BUT part of me is suspicious because I am thinking that he has been spending a lot of time looking at new hybrids...I am hoping that with the new battery that his current car will last at least another year....
We just went to the graduating resident's party- it gives me hope...there is an end to this thing called residency...
Hubby and I had yet another "discussion" about money. He was a tad concerned over our diminishing savings account. I had shared this fact with him 3 weeks ago- hmm, do you think he didn't listen to me? Shocking, I know!
Here is why his concern pissed me off- we just shelled out almost 2 grand on a new battery and repairs on his hybrid- I hate that car- it sucks for repair costs and fuel efficiency is not enough to take away from the cost of repairs...it is like his mistress, he has an unusual attachment to this car...it is ugly, it is small, and the roof actually ripples if you take it through a car wash. It is not a family car. It has never held a car seat- because if it did there would be little room for anything else. Yes, I hate that car almost as much as I hate residency- so much for me not being a "hater." BUT my wrath is not directed at an individual but rather an object and a situation so I should get a free pass on this one...
He also keeps throwing out there that the average income in this area is about 2/3 of what he makes- I then tell him that his daughter and I are not average and this fact has no relevance to us. It also made me mad since I had just told him about my needing to turn down my dream job- um, a little sensitivity would be nice...he brought me home flowers to assuage his guilt a bit...they were nice...I opted not to smother him with a pillow while he slept that night...again, he is lucky I love him...
Yesterday, I got a phone call- the closest thing I could ever get to an apology- he is male and all. He said not to worry about our money situation and that he only has 2 years left so if we need to get a loan to help out then so be it. It is good he is facing reality...his salary is not exactly generous and we have expenses that come up like car repairs and medical bills- my co-pays are huge not to mention stuff for our daughter- luxuries like diapers... ;p BUT part of me is suspicious because I am thinking that he has been spending a lot of time looking at new hybrids...I am hoping that with the new battery that his current car will last at least another year....
We just went to the graduating resident's party- it gives me hope...there is an end to this thing called residency...
Dream Job not happening....
I was recently offered a dream job. It was through an old contact I have from back when I worked in reality TV in LA. It was a very good offer. I was thrilled....it was flattering- granted it might get cancelled but it would've been fun while it lasted...and it paid over double what hubby makes...but there is, of course, a huge problem with said job offer....
The problem being we live on the other side of the country. I also have a 2 year old who needs me. I am married to a resident who still has 2 years of his sentence er, I mean, training left. Then we have 4 years of military payback afterward. That is 11 years of being the woman behind the man. I did not drink the kool aid- I am not always going to graceful about this...I am not always going to buy into the "scoring a doctor" line. I make sacrifices, too, this is part of life as a resident's wife. It doesn't mean I have to love this particular part of putting my own career dreams on hold possibly forever. Hence, why I WILL hold him to his promise of a luxury SUV when residency is done.
He is lucky I love him. A lesser woman would be bitterly rampaging around the house right now. I considered it- but we are on a resident's salary and can't afford to replace anything....sigh..
The problem being we live on the other side of the country. I also have a 2 year old who needs me. I am married to a resident who still has 2 years of his sentence er, I mean, training left. Then we have 4 years of military payback afterward. That is 11 years of being the woman behind the man. I did not drink the kool aid- I am not always going to graceful about this...I am not always going to buy into the "scoring a doctor" line. I make sacrifices, too, this is part of life as a resident's wife. It doesn't mean I have to love this particular part of putting my own career dreams on hold possibly forever. Hence, why I WILL hold him to his promise of a luxury SUV when residency is done.
He is lucky I love him. A lesser woman would be bitterly rampaging around the house right now. I considered it- but we are on a resident's salary and can't afford to replace anything....sigh..
Friday, June 22, 2012
Happy Anniversary
I am thrilled! It was just our 4th anniversary and get this? Hubby though on home call was actually home! WOW! I have gotten used to birthdays, and most holidays being hit or miss as to whether we see each other. We do get Christmas which is huge- well, except for this year, which, I will whine about later... BUT this is our first anniversary where we spent it together...
Hubby came home at a decent time with take out from a favourite area restaurant- no sense in eating out and getting a sitter when there is the possibility of him being called out on an emergency. So we opted for dinner at home and playing with our kiddo. He got me an art workshop to do next month and then surprised me with a really cool vase- very art deco. I like surprises- wait, I like surprises that are gifts- I am too much of a control freak to like surprises otherwise...I am already hating the fact that in 2 years when residency is done (yes, that part is good) but I am hating having to be posted and not knowing ahead of time (as in NOW) where we will be until right before hand- um, I like to have time to PLAN- for Emma's school, for where we'll live, area attractions, area shopping...but I digress, my point is that this was a good surprise..it made me happy... :D
So, we watched an array of kiddie shows with Emma, played pretend food/tea party, and CRASHED...He has been working a LOT this week- it has been a hard week I am told- um, duh! Anyhow, I am tired, too. I am used to him coming home and taking over and me having time to myself to take a bubble bath and go to sleep early while he puts kiddo to bed. I have lupus, this works well for me...sigh...I am tired...and Emma is cranky- actually, so am I...we both prefer our normal schedule....I suspect hubby does, too.
BUT I am going to try to focus on the positive here! We spent our anniversary together! That is pretty great!
Hubby came home at a decent time with take out from a favourite area restaurant- no sense in eating out and getting a sitter when there is the possibility of him being called out on an emergency. So we opted for dinner at home and playing with our kiddo. He got me an art workshop to do next month and then surprised me with a really cool vase- very art deco. I like surprises- wait, I like surprises that are gifts- I am too much of a control freak to like surprises otherwise...I am already hating the fact that in 2 years when residency is done (yes, that part is good) but I am hating having to be posted and not knowing ahead of time (as in NOW) where we will be until right before hand- um, I like to have time to PLAN- for Emma's school, for where we'll live, area attractions, area shopping...but I digress, my point is that this was a good surprise..it made me happy... :D
So, we watched an array of kiddie shows with Emma, played pretend food/tea party, and CRASHED...He has been working a LOT this week- it has been a hard week I am told- um, duh! Anyhow, I am tired, too. I am used to him coming home and taking over and me having time to myself to take a bubble bath and go to sleep early while he puts kiddo to bed. I have lupus, this works well for me...sigh...I am tired...and Emma is cranky- actually, so am I...we both prefer our normal schedule....I suspect hubby does, too.
BUT I am going to try to focus on the positive here! We spent our anniversary together! That is pretty great!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
the untrophy wife
There is a big myth that all doctors and especially surgeons look for trophy wives. I hear this term on a regular basis when I hear a snide comment made about me at his work by someone who really needs to get a life. It is always under her breath but come on- really not necessary...
Last night I told hubby that he got ripped off in his attempt for a trophy wife- we had a good laugh over it. You see when we first met I told him that I had lupus- a mild form of the worst type- systemic, and waited for him to run and not look back. Most guys did....His response was surprising he said only a-holes would see that as an issue and he was not...side note I agree with his assessment 99% of the time but he is male so, um...he has his moments- I, on the other hand, am perfect. ;p
We had discussed adoption from the beginning- I was sort of thinking we could risk a pregnancy until in his intern year hubby called me very upset...he had just dealt with not one bur two women who had lupus with no complications until they gave birth- then renal failure and sadly, they both died...He noted this doesn't always happen but it can and he was not going to lose his wife and be a single father. So, I checked with my specialist who noted this was a risk and advised against pregnancy for me. I got a second opinion as I wanted to be sure and was told the same things given my medical history. We both knew we wanted children so we adopted in our second year of marriage. I get to be a mommy and honestly, I don't think it is possible to love my daughter more- she grew in my heart and that love grows daily. To call her a daddy's girl is a huge understatement- he is a dedicated father and changes a mean diaper. Nothing is sexier than a man who carries a baby in one arm and uses the other to vacuum.:)
I also pointed out last night to hubby that trophy wives get more bling and he pulled the residency card again. Humph, I hate when he throws logic at me. I gave him a pass but told him 10 years is diamonds and he is forewarned. ;p
Finally, I would imagine trophy wives (don't know any so have to rely on imagination) are likely more domestic than me. I despise house work. I don't like cooking either. Not saying being a domestic goddess makes one a trophy wife but they likely come closer to expectations than me. :) We budget for a cleaning service- in my defense scrubbing floors is physically painful. Dave often cooks and puts stuff away for us. He says cooking and cleaning relaxes him- who am I to deny him the simple pleasures? I am very giving so I like to see my man happy. Win win and all. :)
Those who think I am a trophy wife would likely be very disappointed by the reality of our life but we are not! :D
Last night I told hubby that he got ripped off in his attempt for a trophy wife- we had a good laugh over it. You see when we first met I told him that I had lupus- a mild form of the worst type- systemic, and waited for him to run and not look back. Most guys did....His response was surprising he said only a-holes would see that as an issue and he was not...side note I agree with his assessment 99% of the time but he is male so, um...he has his moments- I, on the other hand, am perfect. ;p
We had discussed adoption from the beginning- I was sort of thinking we could risk a pregnancy until in his intern year hubby called me very upset...he had just dealt with not one bur two women who had lupus with no complications until they gave birth- then renal failure and sadly, they both died...He noted this doesn't always happen but it can and he was not going to lose his wife and be a single father. So, I checked with my specialist who noted this was a risk and advised against pregnancy for me. I got a second opinion as I wanted to be sure and was told the same things given my medical history. We both knew we wanted children so we adopted in our second year of marriage. I get to be a mommy and honestly, I don't think it is possible to love my daughter more- she grew in my heart and that love grows daily. To call her a daddy's girl is a huge understatement- he is a dedicated father and changes a mean diaper. Nothing is sexier than a man who carries a baby in one arm and uses the other to vacuum.:)
I also pointed out last night to hubby that trophy wives get more bling and he pulled the residency card again. Humph, I hate when he throws logic at me. I gave him a pass but told him 10 years is diamonds and he is forewarned. ;p
Finally, I would imagine trophy wives (don't know any so have to rely on imagination) are likely more domestic than me. I despise house work. I don't like cooking either. Not saying being a domestic goddess makes one a trophy wife but they likely come closer to expectations than me. :) We budget for a cleaning service- in my defense scrubbing floors is physically painful. Dave often cooks and puts stuff away for us. He says cooking and cleaning relaxes him- who am I to deny him the simple pleasures? I am very giving so I like to see my man happy. Win win and all. :)
Those who think I am a trophy wife would likely be very disappointed by the reality of our life but we are not! :D
yeah, he knows but...
In answer to a few people asking, yes, hubby knows I am writing this blog- he finds it amusing and prefers I vent in my blog than kick his butt- yes, he has a healthy fear of all 94 lbs of me. Will he ever read it? Not likely! He rarely reads unless he has to for work stuff...he prefers to wait for the movie...whereas, I read the book and then watch the movie... He is one of those annoying people who reads something once and commits it to memory...Did I mention yet that he also was a high school football player and runs marathons? Well-rounded annoying show off! ;p
His one request was that I never use full names as he is a surgeon and will face enough lawsuits without some slander or libel from my blog being thrown into the mix. Fair enough...
He said last night that this week is unusual for chief residency- I hope so- Emma is less than impressed that she sees him for a few minutes before bed- I let her stay up until he comes home at around 10:30 and then she crashes in his arms. Sweet but not exactly quality time. I preferred the overnights because as much as they sucked at least I knew when they would happen and could plan accordingly with Emma. Last night he didn't have to go back in but that was a first this week...sigh...
I guess I will need to wait and see what the rest of this year brings....
BUT I am beginning to see why he is trying to get me to focus on the good things that will come once he is done- and I will hold him to the promised Beverly Hills shopping spree...the one where we stay in the Wiltshire hotel and I shop til I drop- and don't let the fact I have lupus fool you- I can find an amazing amount of energy to shop...I can also pace myself- shopping can be seen as a marathon- slow and steady wins and all! :D
His one request was that I never use full names as he is a surgeon and will face enough lawsuits without some slander or libel from my blog being thrown into the mix. Fair enough...
He said last night that this week is unusual for chief residency- I hope so- Emma is less than impressed that she sees him for a few minutes before bed- I let her stay up until he comes home at around 10:30 and then she crashes in his arms. Sweet but not exactly quality time. I preferred the overnights because as much as they sucked at least I knew when they would happen and could plan accordingly with Emma. Last night he didn't have to go back in but that was a first this week...sigh...
I guess I will need to wait and see what the rest of this year brings....
BUT I am beginning to see why he is trying to get me to focus on the good things that will come once he is done- and I will hold him to the promised Beverly Hills shopping spree...the one where we stay in the Wiltshire hotel and I shop til I drop- and don't let the fact I have lupus fool you- I can find an amazing amount of energy to shop...I can also pace myself- shopping can be seen as a marathon- slow and steady wins and all! :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)